So it has certainly been awhile since my last posting. I thought I’d share the above picture because it very much speaks to me as I am, in many ways, seeking to make some sense of things.

I am grateful for the past experiences with Runners Doing Good and certainly at peace with everything we’ve done that in the present that I don’t feel that this is a “have to” type of situation any longer.

Where I struggle is with the vision for tomorrow. It is really hard to discern right now. For many a year, I found the work we were doing as necessary and when I mean necessary, it was because it felt as if there was an expectation to perform at a particular level.

I felt that, to an extent with NeighborLink For Wayne. They took a chance on letting us work with them and, at least to me, I felt the weight of expectations to deliver for them. In the beginning with Kate’s Kart, I believe they saw what we did as pure gravy, so to speak, but by the end, there were questions about what happens to them if I quit fundraising on their behalf? That was a whole different type of expectation and one I didn’t feel comfortable with myself.

With the fundraiser for the Dee family this past year, it was definitely a one-off type of experience. Being that it was for a family the team and I had known for some time, there was pressure to meet our goals for sure, but it felt like anything would be appreciated.

And so for the first time in 8 years of this, there’s nothing defined for ’23. I have a small core of a team that would run if the situations were right and not all of those situations include a Ragnar so that’s “different” too.

And so I’m meandering the beginning of 2023 here without a complete idea on what I truly want for Runners Doing Good. I’ve entered a season of life where my kids are more active than ever. In all honesty, those guys have asked me to not run a Ragnar this year.

The truth is, I want to, however, this isn’t a something you do half way. I won’t sign up for a race “just because we’ve always done it.” Life has to jive with whatever decision is ultimately made.

I’d also have to have a team to place in an event and right now, I think I could field 4 runners, including myself, if I took on Ragnar Trail Michigan again. These things aren’t for the faint of heart and you have to have teammates willing to walk into that storm because they’re either passionate about the cause, wanting to try something new, or willing to help a friend out. I’m confident that I could talk a couple of guys into it but without a “where”, it is hard to come up with “who.”

Beyond that, the “why” has to be right and this might be the area that I struggle the most. You don’t promise to run 125 – 200 miles to raise money for a great cause to get a pat on the back and a thank you. There’s never a wrong time to do the right thing and if the cause is right, we will find our “why.”

There are aspects of of what we’ve done and who we’ve worked with that have led to great pride as well as a fair amount of angst and disappointment. We proved that we can operate this on our own so if it’s to be done again in a larger team approach, don’t be surprised if it is through Runners Doing Good, the non-profit so that we can make the most impact with the fruit of our efforts and that is, by far, the most important thing to me.

If we’re going to do something, transparency and impact are paramount so if we pick up that ball and run, I promise you, that you will know exactly what we do with the money we raise and how it is spent but it will be a decision that our group makes and we’ll tell you why. If we’re disappointed, it will be on us, and while that might be disheartening, it’ll be better than doing a ton for someone else with very little pay-off for our donors.

And ultimately, it is you, our donors, who have made this as successful as it has been, for without you, we are nothing.

Individually, as I look for vision for the team, I am going to take some time to focus on myself. If the team comes back stronger than ever it will because there will be more assistance for me. The team’s efforts need to be more collaborative. Maybe some of my issues are self inflicted and I’ve taken on too much but I’ve burned out easier and easier the last 2 years despite the continued success of the team.

My fitness level, despite training to meet the requirements of a Ragnar, has suffered and following the burn out, I don’t hit the pavement post-Rangar, at all for far too long and I put on weight way too easily because I’m eating to burn calories because of all of the running but when there’s not running and the eating continues, it’s like the dam breaks and my will power is washed away.

So right now, I’m focusing on 2 things on the horizon, The Sunburst Races in South Bend, which ends at the 50 yard line at Notre Dame. I’m interested in the 10K there. I’m also thinking about the half marathon at the Fort 4 Fitness here in Fort Wayne. I’ve never run 13.1 and it is a race that I’d like to check off my list of things to do. I love my hometown and finishing at home plate in Parkview Field is pretty cool.

I’ve also had a coworker throw the idea of a triathlon at me in August. I don’t necessarily have the right type of bike for it but I’m not going to lie, I am intrigued.

Mostly and lastly, I’m grateful for each and every person who has supported Runners Doing Good. I know there’s a vision and a calling still there. I truly feel like if you have the ability and the wherewithal to do something good, why stay on the sidelines?

I just don’t have the clarity for what that is and any good thoughts, ideas, and prayers for what that vision and path could be, I’ll take it gladly.

Thanks for listening. I’ll be in touch much sooner than the last time. 🙂

Sincerely,

Gabe